Today’s episode is here to inspire you to pause, take a step back from your everyday life, and ask some questions about what you could do to make your life even better. I believe that before we set any goals, it’s dreaming that has to come first so that you know what you want, and where to put your energy. This episode about planning your dream life is a bit of a shorter style episode, but I hope you take a lot away from it.

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Sometimes we’re so stuck in the everyday grind that we’re not even sure that something more could be possible, and I want to open your mind to that possibility today. Sometimes we come across a path that we might take in life, or an activity that initially seems exciting, and then we end up saying to ourselves “I can’t do that!” and this can come about because we feel bound or obligated to stick with what we are already doing. So my hope is that these questions will help you become a little more flexible in this, and give you the inspiration and motivation to consider how to make a good life amazing.

There is a lot of talk about setting goals, and setting new years resolutions, but without dreaming first, you’re really just plucking goals out of thin air, and they are not deeply meaningful to you, which means you lack the motivation to see the action steps through. This is a really common reason why goals aren’t achieved, so it’s important to get really clear on what you want.

I have done this in my own life, and it was something I focused on a lot in 2018 and 2019 after my marriage ended. I spent a lot of time thinking and writing about what I wanted, prompted by questions and ideas that I found in books and from inspirational content online. At that time I was white-knuckling through life, trying to work and have a side job, look after two toddlers full time, and keep a house, and then it got to the start of 2019 and I could really see nothing in my future. I had been so used to having something that was “next” in life, like finishing uni, building a house, getting married, having a baby, getting a new job, and then there really was nothing left by 2019. I didn’t know what I wanted to spend my time doing, and I was lonely too. It was only because I allocated time each week to pause, ask myself questions, and write down answers, that I could work out what my priorities were, and what my goals were.

Writing ideas down is so much more effective than just thinking about it, because it offloads all the information so that your brain is free to make connections and analyse the information without also holding it all in there. You can also look back on what you’ve written, so that you can remember what you’ve come up with.

I have THREE questions to ask you now to help you dream, so when I go over these questions, I want you to get a pen and paper, or start a new document on your phone, and allocate some time to this this week so that you can record what comes up for you. I also have a dreaming workbook in the online store, which has these questions and more, and space to write, so you can get that with the 10% off code PODCAST10, and the link is in the shownotes. So choose 10 mins in your day today and sit down to write the answers to these questions.

What is my mindset towards dreaming?

The first question actually flows on from what I’ve already been saying about being open to what’s possible. The question is “what is my attitude or mindset towards dreaming?” There’s this common idea that “people can’t change.” In actual fact we get older, we get wiser, we have new experiences, and we learn to look at things differently, and so we really can change. Your brain is making new connections all the time, like when we’re learning a new skill, and so it’s absolutely possible and even normal to change. So I want you to think about whether you believe that change can occur, and how much belief you have in yourself to effect that change.

Sometimes it’s actually really hard to recognise what we believe, and so it’s important to actually catch yourself and work out what the voice in your mind is saying. Ask yourself – What are my beliefs? Do I believe that there is more for me, or am I overwhelmed or disillusioned about dreaming or change? Do I believe that I am powerful and that change is possible for me? Everything we have right now is something that someone dreamed about first, and then created, so what do you want to create in the future? There’s a famous quote by Henry Ford that says “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right,” This of course speaks to how important your mindset is when it comes to dreaming, to change, and to crafting the life of your dreams.

So take a look at those beliefs, and see if you can soften it a little. One example of softening a thought is, let’s say you have the thought “I can’t make changes to my life, I’m too old.” You might like to tweak that a little, and say something like “I can try small changes that feel comfortable to me,” or, “Plenty of other people older than me have made changes to their lives.” See how little changes to thoughts can open up possibility and make change feel easier? Try your new thought on and see how it feels. You might like to make a note in your phone, or put a sticky note on your mirror, to help integrate this new thought into your mind.

What would you do even if you failed?

Ok, the second question is “What would you do even if you know you’re going to fail?” There is a popular question that I see all the time which is “What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?” But everyone fails some of the time – failure is inevitable. So the writer Elizabeth Gilbert has flipped this question around and asked what would you do even if you know you’re going to fail. Knowing for certain that you’re going to have failures, what are you going to spend your time doing? Over the last several years I have learned the lesson that not only is the journey more important than the destination, but there is no destination. What do you want to spend your time doing, no matter whether you fail or succeed or things turn out differently to what you expect? At this point, success or failure become irrelevant, because it’s never about the outcome. This allows you to lessen your grip on the future, and spend your time in ways that feel better to you. So, what is it that you want to do?

What would future me want to remember about this time?

The final question that I have for you is a big one. It reminds us that life is short and that each season we’re in lasts only a short time. The question is “What would future me want to remember about this time? Think about you and your life 10 years into the future. What do you want to remember about this time? How old are you and your partner and kids? What do you want to do? What is your lifestyle like? Your home environment? Where are you living? How are you spending your time? What memories do you want to make, and how do you want to feel about this time? Is it busy and stressful, or is it warm and relaxed?

I want you to think about future you as a guide or a mentor, someone who still feels like you but has become wiser and more experienced. What would future you say to you now? What advice would they give? And what lessons have they learned?

Research about future self

There is some research about future you – there is a paper by Hershfield in 2011 that looks at the link between the perception of the future version of you, and your goals. He says that when we focus on our future self in a vivid and realistic way, then we are more likely to take actions today that benefits that future person. This is such a fascinating effect, whereby imagining your future self more clearly, then the next few steps in your current life become much clearer. So really try and clearly imagine the answers to those questions about your future self and future lifestyle. You can even go one step further with this, and write it in the form of a letter. Get out some paper and a pen and write a letter from future you to current you. It’s really powerful when you write it down in this way.

Plan your dream life

Ok, so these are a really special set of questions because it really invites you to think about your life in a new way. Even if there is nothing wrong with your life, there are always new and different experiences to have, and asking these questions can help you explore what those are for you. Only after answering these types of questions can you get really clear on setting goals that are meaningful for you, and then planning your days to support those goals.

I take you through a deeper set of dreaming exercises in my online time management course TIMEWISE, and if you are listening to this episode the week it airs, then TIMEWISE is reopening next week on October 7th 2024. It’s relaunching with some really special offers, including the digital 2025 Intentional Life Planner for free, AND direct access to me as your time management coach for the first 10 people who join. If you’re listening to this afterwards, that’s ok because TIMEWISE will then be open ongoing, so you can join at any time that suits you. TIMEWISE is for you if you’re ready to get really clear on how to make changes to your lifestyle so that you can spend your time doing what’s meaningful for you. If you struggle with focusing, or prioritising, or procrastination, or planning your day, and you just get to the end of the day wishing that you had done those things that you meant to, then TIMEWISE is for you. Quit burning the candle at both ends, and start ending each day feeling accomplished and relaxed. I teach you everything I know about time management based on the scientific research and my expertise as a former neuropsychologist, so that you can follow a system that actually works. There’s even a money-back guarantee! How’s that?! To find out more, go to liveanintentionallife.com.au/timewise right now so you don’t miss the reopening specials.

That’s what I have for you today, these dreaming questions will help you answer the question that Mary Oliver asks, which is “tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” See you next time.